Do you think it is just a coincidence?Buddy, Socks's Nemesis, Is Dead He playfully took after a contractor leaving the Clinton home about noon and was struck by a sport utility vehicle on Route 117 at the bottom of Old House Lane, the cul-de-sac where the Clintons live.

Hey, you might be missing a thigh or two, and it may cost you $5.00 to cross town, but at least you won't have icy mirrors!Escalade Escalade's outside rearview mirrors are heated, and fold out of harm's way.

"The choice of vehicle that you drive has a greater effect on the environment than any other choice you make as a consumer"
- Union of Concerned Scientists


You may be surprised to find out that the Land Rover Range Rover (here Rover, c'mon), Cadillac Escalade and the GMC Yukon Denali are the least efficient SUVs on the road. After all, these vehicles are among the newest and most innovative vehicles available, right? Best Trucks. I decided to do a little comparision on the website between the innovative 2002 Cadillac Escalade (hereafter known as the Expellade) and my powerhouse 1999 Saturn SL. The Cadillac gets a whopping 15 miles per gallon ON THE HIGHWAY. (I used to own an 18-year-old gas guzzling 1979 Delta 88 that got better gas mileage than that.) The Saturn gets 38 miles per gallon (I've gotten up to 42 before.) If my Expellade-driving friend and I both go 15,000 miles this year, I'll spend $566 in gas. He'll spend $1350. In that same year, Senor Expellade will emit 14.6 tons of greenhouse gasses. My Saturn will emit 6.2 tons. But the Expellade is safer, right? Nope. The Saturn is among the safest cars on the road despite the fact that it is about 1/3 the size of the road-hogging Expellade. According to the National Highway Transportation Safety Administration, the 2002 Expellade has a "High Likelihood of Thigh Injury." You may be out some thighs, but I bet you can sure haul a lotta shit in that thing... and I'm sure that it will be put to great use by every Expellade driver in this country.

However, should you see a monster SUV like the Expellade, the GMC Denial, the Low-Range Rover or the Lincoln Navimaster not being put to the full use of their massive capacity (i.e. hauling a little league team to the game or lugging enough bricks to build a real fancy fountain in the backyard), you might consider giving them a ticket. Or you might prefer to 'tag' them with a great bumpersticker. There are also other bumperstickers available sure to turn even the most stalwart fuel-burner into a blubbering fountain of guilt. Hell, why not do both? I think I might. Happy tagging, kids!

September 11: A tragic and sad event that changed our world. Why did it happen? Were the terrorists jealous of our free press and right to bear arms? Were they acting out of blind rage against a perceived enemy who is truly innocent?

I believe it was an act of desperation -- that there is a group of people who believes it is better to die for a cause than to live in squallor while others live in opulence. We are the country that represents that opulence. The greatest symbols of our opulence are our massive personal Sport Utility Vehicles.

But has 9/11 changed our habits? Only by encouraging some Republican Senators to try to ram through a provision in Railroad Retirement Bill that would allow oil exploration in protected areas of Alaska. After all, we can more easily claim that the terrorists were purely evil and bomb the shit out of them, than to reflect on the root causes of the terror. And each bomb that kills an innocent civilian in Afghanistan is another piece of fodder for the next 9/11. If we reduced our dependence on foreign oil, we wouldn't have to go to such lengths to protect our oil fix.

Read on:

AlterNet -- The SUV-Terrorism Connection the Environmental Protection Agency released its annual fuel economy statistics last week. Sadly, the reports show that the fuel economy of 2001 vehicles has plunged to its lowest level since 1980. The reason: America's ongoing appetite for gas-guzzling sport utility vehicles.

Clearly, our consumptive ways are changing in this new era of enlightenment, thanks to:
suvluv.org: introducing the most fuel efficient SUVon the planet.

oh gawd, another year ended. i hate those end-of-the-year resolution-type lists of popular events that try to encapsulate the American psyche. So, as a good American, I'm gonna create one of my own, of course, and call it...

Top ten things for which i'm glad 2001 is over:

1. The days of conspicuous over-consumption of mass-market products are finally behind us.
2. The nuclear arms race is a thing of the past.
3. National forests are protected from commercial logging.
4. Thanks to efforts by the FCC to allow community organizations to create their own radio stations, media conglomerates no longer have a strangle-hold on the airwaves.
5. Our country can now deal honestly with the underlying causes of terrorism, and no longer claim that the instigators are purely evil.
6. SUV drivers have recognized the error of their ways, and their link to petroleum and reliance on oil-producing countries, and are purchasing fuel-efficient hybrid automobiles.
7. There is no longer any doubt that global warming is caused by human consumption habits.
8. People will no longer have to struggle for equal rights or to get their voices heard by their congressional leaders.
9. The United States has adopted a policy of cooperation with all countries in 2002 and is leading the way in environmental protection and international disarmament.
10. We now live in a truly free country. You have my word on it.